Do you guys remember Voltron? It was an early 80s cartoon that involved a bunch of crime fighting teams or whatever. I'll be honest, around that time I was pretty busy pretending to be She-Ra. But as I recall, at key moments everyone would join together, all forming one giant superhero monstrosity of awesome.

I want Voltron to be my boyfriend.

There are a lot of men in my life that I'm not dating. And they each want something separate and specific from me. One wants to spend hours talking about our feelings. One wants to be my drinking buddy and give me noogies. One just wants to hug. One wants to take long road trips with me. On his wife's birthday. One wants to make me mix CDs, 10 years after we broke up. And one wants nothing more in the world than to hit this. He's not getting that.

Because I don't want any of that. Okay, I want all of that. But I want all of that from ONE GUY. I want all these guys to join forces and become one giant guy. One guy who wants to give me all of that, and wants all of that from me.

I don't want to date just the Red Lion. Or just the Green Lion, or just the Blue Lion, or just the Yellow Lion. I don't even want to date the Black Lion. And he's the one that forms the head. I want all of it. I want the whole monstrosity of awesome.

I want Voltron to be my boyfriend.